Roast My Website
Free AI Audit That Pulls No Punches.
Your website has problems. Let's find them — brutally fast.
Free · No signup · We only read your public site
60 seconds. Zero setup. Zero mercy.
Three steps from URL to honest audit. No integrations, no browser extensions, no waiting for a consultant to reply.
Paste Your URL
Just your website address, nothing else. Works on any public site, including a competitor's. No login required.
AI Crawls It
Our agents read your copy, test load speed, check your CTAs, measure trust signals, and scan your SEO structure automatically.
Get Your Roast
3 good, 3 bad, 1 ugly truth, and a health score out of 100. Shareable, specific, written for founders.
This is what a roast looks like.
Honest. Specific. Written for founders — not developers.
Your roast 🔥
Great Product, Witness-Protection Website
✗ The Callouts
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Your hero says “Empowering Tomorrow, Today” — That's not a headline, it's a fortune cookie. Fourteen words in and I still can't tell if you sell software or life advice.
The Real Talk
Here's the thing — once I got into your docs, the product actually looks sharp. That's the tragedy. You've built something real and dressed it in a 2015 template. Fix the first five seconds and people will finally stay long enough to see it.
"Just learned my website has been quietly repelling customers since launch. Health score: 38. Sending it to witness protection and hiring a copywriter."
Sample roast generated for a fictional website. Your roast will reflect your actual site.
Every factor that makes visitors leave — or stay.
83% of visitors decide within 3 seconds whether to stay. These are the six signals that decide it.
Headline clarity
Does your hero say what you do in 8 words? Most don't. Does your hero say what problem you solve in 8 words or less? Most don't — and visitors leave before scrolling.
Mobile performance
Real load time, layout and touch-target sizing on mobile. Real load time, layout score, touch-target sizing — tested under mobile conditions.
CTA effectiveness
Are your CTAs placed and worded to get clicked? Are your calls-to-action placed, worded, and sized to actually get clicked?
Trust signals
Testimonials, logos, guarantees — enough to trust you? Testimonials, logos, guarantees — do visitors have a reason to trust you before they reach for a card?
Pricing transparency
Hidden pricing reads as "too expensive" — 60% leave. Hidden pricing makes 60% of visitors assume "too expensive" and leave silently.
SEO basics
Title tags, meta, headings — the basics to get ranked. Title tags, meta descriptions, headings — the foundation search engines need to rank you.
Most websites are leaking revenue right now.
These patterns show up in every site we analyze — regardless of industry, size, or design budget.
of all traffic is mobile — most sites are still built desktop-first. of all traffic is mobile — but most sites are designed desktop-first and never tested on a real device.
to form a first impression — your headline gets one shot. to form a first impression — your headline gets one shot before the visitor decides to leave.
leave over hidden pricing — no price reads as "too expensive." leave due to hidden pricing — no visible price reads as "too expensive," even a rough range helps.
conversion lost per extra second of load time. conversion lost per extra second of load time — at 5 seconds, you've already lost 35% of potential conversions.
Built for founders. Used by marketers, agencies, and curious competitors.
The roast is free. Use it however you need.
Roast your own site
You've stared at your website so long you've stopped seeing it. The roast shows what a first-time visitor actually experiences.
Roast a competitor's site
See exactly where they're weak so you can position your site to win the comparison. Ethically ruthless. Completely legal.
Roast a client's site
Run it live in a pitch. Nothing closes a deal faster than showing someone their health score is 34 out of 100.
Things founders ask
An honest, no-filter audit that tells you what's working, what's broken, and what's costing you customers — in plain language, not jargon. Think of it as a brutally honest friend reviewing your site.
Yes. The core roast — 3 good points, 3 problems, 1 ugly truth — is completely free. No credit card, no signup. A full 15+ point audit with a fix playbook is a paid upgrade.
The AI crawls your site and delivers the roast moments after you paste your URL. No waiting, no email follow-up.
Headline clarity, mobile performance and load speed, CTA placement and language, trust signals, pricing transparency, and basic SEO structure — the six factors that most directly affect whether a visitor becomes a customer.
Most audit tools hand you technical metrics like “H2 tags missing.” A roast tells you what a real visitor experiences and what's making them leave. Opinionated, specific, written for founders — not developers.
Yes. Any publicly accessible website. Founders use this to benchmark their site and find where they have a clear advantage — or a gap to close.
