Roast my website.
Free. Brutal. Instant.
Paste your URL. We read it the way a first-time visitor does, and name every leak.
60 seconds. Zero setup. Zero mercy.
Three steps from URL to honest audit. No integrations, no browser extensions, no waiting for a consultant to reply.
Paste your URL
Just your website address, nothing else. Works on any public site, including a competitor's. No login required.
AI crawls it
Our agents read your copy, test load speed, check your CTAs, measure trust signals, and scan your SEO structure automatically.
Get your roast
3 good, 3 bad, 1 ugly truth, and a health score out of 100. Shareable, specific, written for founders.
Every factor that makes visitors leave — or stay.
83% of visitors decide within 3 seconds whether to stay. These are the six signals that decide it.
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Headline clarity
Does your hero say what problem you solve in eight words or less? Most don't — and visitors leave before scrolling.
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Mobile performance
Real load time, layout score, touch-target sizing — tested under mobile conditions.
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CTA effectiveness
Are your calls-to-action placed, worded, and sized to actually get clicked?
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Trust signals
Testimonials, logos, guarantees — do visitors have a reason to trust you before they reach for a card?
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Pricing transparency
Hidden pricing makes 60% of visitors assume "too expensive" and leave silently.
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SEO basics
Title tags, meta descriptions, headings — the foundation search engines need to rank you.
Most websites are leaking revenue right now.
These patterns show up in every site we analyse — whatever the industry, size or design budget.
- 83%
of all traffic is mobile — but most sites are designed desktop-first and never tested on a real device.
- 3s
to form a first impression — your headline gets one shot before the visitor decides to leave.
- 60%
leave due to hidden pricing — no visible price reads as "too expensive," even a rough range helps.
- 7%
conversion lost per extra second of load time — at 5 seconds you have already lost 35% of conversions.
Built for founders. Used by everyone who sells.
The roast is free. Marketers, agencies and curious competitors use it however they need.
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Most commonRoast your own site
You've stared at your website so long you've stopped seeing it. The roast shows what a first-time visitor actually experiences.
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Competitive intelRoast a competitor's site
See exactly where they're weak so you can position your site to win the comparison. Ethically ruthless. Completely legal.
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For agenciesRoast a client's site
Run it live in a pitch. Nothing closes a deal faster than showing someone their health score is 34 out of 100.
Questions people actually ask
What founders want to know before they paste a URL.
What is a website roast? +
An honest, no-filter audit that tells you what's working, what's broken, and what's costing you customers — in plain language, not jargon. Think of it as a brutally honest friend reviewing your site.
Is it really free? +
Yes. The core roast — 3 good points, 3 problems, 1 ugly truth — is completely free. No credit card, no signup. A full 15+ point audit with a fix playbook is a paid upgrade.
How long does it take? +
The AI crawls your site and delivers the roast moments after you paste your URL. No waiting, no email follow-up.
What does it check? +
Headline clarity, mobile performance and load speed, CTA placement and language, trust signals, pricing transparency, and basic SEO structure — the six factors that most directly affect whether a visitor becomes a customer.
How is this different from a regular audit tool? +
Most audit tools hand you technical metrics like “H2 tags missing.” A roast tells you what a real visitor experiences and what's making them leave. Opinionated, specific, written for founders — not developers.
Can I roast a competitor's site? +
Yes. Any publicly accessible website. Founders use this to benchmark their site and find where they have a clear advantage — or a gap to close.
The roast is free. The truth is real.
Paste your URL and see what a first-time visitor actually experiences — in plain language, not jargon.
Roast my website